I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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