this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize