Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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