Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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