Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize