No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
