You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Maybe he injected his testicle?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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