We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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