I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
