no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
