I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
