i need an iv and a liver transplant
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
