His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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