remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
