hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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