I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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