So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
