he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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