At least make sure they are 18
Why
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
