Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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