She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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