I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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