hotel room ftw
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
