Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
