Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize