Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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