Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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