He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
