i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Randomize
