I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
