I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
