we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
