I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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