Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
