Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
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HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
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As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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