Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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