Cold hands, warm shart.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I will pee on everything he values.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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