There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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