but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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