so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
