guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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