party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Vodka?
Forever.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
