you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
how drunk are you?
Several
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
