just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
