so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Do you remember whose house we're in?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
