38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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