never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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