Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
