you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
