i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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