I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
the room spins SO much faster in panama
you inspire me to be a worse person
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
