well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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