Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
