If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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