You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
No I am not eating basil off your cock
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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