I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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