After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
