And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
