dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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