I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Randomize
