There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
