dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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