If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
